I love mom dearly, but I do not know how to help her; I do not know the medication that could make mom healthy to enjoy her life fully, except that I've prayed for mom.

The ambulance finally arrives in about seven minutes and mom is transported to the local hospital with dad and sister Platz.

It is now 7:25 p.m.; however, the sun has not yet disappeared under the horizon. I returned to my room with a great apprehension for my future. I never feel as lonely before since my mother's gone to the hospital for the treatment of cancer. Everything loses its good taste: school, recreation, TV and even foods. It is the first time I experience that life without my mother would be not worthy to live. Though she's just left, I feel a great loss not having mom's beside to talk to, just to exchange simple glances, just to be able to feel and see each other's face-and that's enough for me. Her presence is so important in my life, yet I could not really feel the tenderly sweetness of mother's love that no others possess. And yet many times I get angry with mom for tiny things in life, many times I don't listen to mom because I think I am right.

After finishing the last entry of my journal, I go to bed at about 12:30 a.m. Being alone makes me want to write more to occupy my loneliness with the memory of my beloved mother. I am so worried and tired that my body shivers impulsively hard and my legs were stiffened as if they were locked up by someone. I can barely move without extending my hand out to the nearest chair

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